I will wait...

Hi friends,

I discovered this video through a dear buddy of mine and i am still in awe of the message that Janette shares.  For me personally it came at exactly the right time.  More and more i believe that God is always on time.  I hope you get the same revelation from this that I did and that you will be blessed with the patience to wait for Him...
xoxo

*Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.*

This has always been the template I used to measure my relationships… but the reality is that sometimes love does fail, sometimes you lose hope and cannot persevere, sometimes you lose all the trust that you had in someone.  Sometimes pride does get in the way.  I guess when it’s all said and done, no one really knows how it works.  I lost a great love recently and every day I miss him *even more so as I write this*.  My heart shrivels up and turns cold when I think of what’s become of us.  This is one of those that if I could take a pill to make the pain go away, I would overdose.  But with each new day, I accept that we were not suited for each other and I’ll be fine again.  I still have nothing but faith in patient, kind and everlasting love. One day it will all make sense, until then, I’ll attempt to smile through it.

MeMeMe

I’m learning a very valuable lesson.  You can love them all, respect them all, but always remember to maintain yourself as your #1 priority.  A friend of mine once said that putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s ok to make your happiness your first option.  I think I missed that class growing up, eish! This thing of always attending others’ classes!  Funny thing is I see it all around me, I see how people can put up a united front, but when the chips fall, no one wants to take a bullet for anyone else.  I am a working progress, and slowly acquainting myself with the ways of this reality.  The only way I can do this though is to ensure that I don’t harbour resentment towards anyone, and always find courage to forgive.  That’s how I put myself first, by remaining faithful to my hearts truth and looking past what I may perceive as wrong doing towards me and striving to not return anger or pain with the same serving but concentrate on what I want and need.  I do need to get more serious with my selfishness though, I suck at it, but I need to pull up my socks and get a little more self absorbed, in a nice way of course!  In the words of a woman whose passion and heart inspire me beyond words and who's selfishness has done wonders for her: “I’m learning to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world.” Beyonce Knowles.

So this is to a me, myself and I approach to my life.  Less emotional and more motional about what I want and where I’m headed in this life, cause Lord knows I’m carrying precious cargo!

xoxo

Courage the cowardly dog

The silence has been killing me! When I started this blog I was determined to keep it updated on the regular.  I was excited that I'd finally started something I've been thinking about starting for as long as I remember! Then I lost grip of my enthusiasm... The "I'll do it tomorrow voice" that haunts all my grand plans whispered assuredly that it was ok to hold it off just one more day.  Sadly this voice of cowardice seems to be more sure of my plans than I am, it's confident in my inability to follow through on my dreams and it definitely gives me a run for my money when it comes to not reaching the finish line.  Let me just say, this is not a self bashing post, I don't believe in psychologically trashing myself to get things done, but I do strive to honestly acknowledge my shortcomings and let's just say, I'm somewhat of a "courage the cowardly dog" when it comes to what I want. I hardly ever stick to something long enough for it to work, whether it's diets or daily plans at work, my well thought out timetable somehow dwindles into the background after some time.


The twist - I find it so easy to assist others with following through with their goals and plans. Im that girl who'll skip my game to go cheer on a friend at theirs.  Theres a well known theory that psychologists are the most issue ridden people you'll find, yet they are happy to sit for hours counseling others through their baggage. I guess I avoid my fear of failure by concentrating on others? I don't know...


However! Being the optimist that I am, I am ever getting back up and trying again and again, and I will continue to do so until I get it right. Eventually I will get it right, until then, peace love happiness.


xoxo